This week, we’re going to look at my small collection of corporate neckties. I don’t know what else to call these beautiful things.
I’m a fan of ugly neckties. Although I’m not the kind of guy who’s going to wear an eyesore like this around his neck every week, I do find that the ugly necktie, selectively employed, can be quite a good accessory. This is especially true when you’re teaching 160 ninth graders who’d just as soon be playing Temple Run on their iPhones than looking at your and listening to what you have to say about The Odyessy. I’m always on the lookout for a strange new addition to my tie rack.
“Corporate ties” are the blanket title I’ve given to any tie I run across which was clearly created for some sort or workplace or organization and ONLY for that workplace or organization. I own ties which feature Looney Tunes characters and I own ties which feature Marvel Comics superheroes… but that’s a different thing from what I’m talking about here. Take this first tie as an example.
This is very clearly a tie manufactured for a person who worked atKinko’s, an all-purpose copy store which was acquired by Federal Express a few years back. Most corporate ties distinguish themselves by being very weirdly designed with lots of references to the company shoehorned in for no apparent reason.
Woman weirdly leaning on a rack of unidentified squares? Check.
Ugly calendar of a dog named Muffin for some reason? Check.
For some reason, most of these ties can easily be dated to the go-go 1990′s. On this tie, the marker is a computer which looks like the one my parents bought us in ’93.
…but just look at this tie. It’s like an visual collection of everything computer related from the early part of the Nineties. I have to guess this is a tie made for people who worked for Intel, given that their website’s URL is displayed prominently all over the thing.
If forced to pick a favorite part of this tie, I’d have to vote for the Netscape Navigator logo, circa 1994. Or the word “CD-ROM,” just printed for no reason. Or the guy “Surfing the net”. Oh who am I kidding, I can’t pick. They are all my favorites.
To bring small collection to a close, there’s this gem:
Still haven’t worn that one yet. Waiting for a fancy occasion.